One Step At A Time: Step Two- What You Want & The Freedom To Choose

Hello hello brides and grooms, mothers, fathers (okay, maybe not), friends, and family of the bride and groom to-be! We ended our last blog post with a very brief mention of our freedom to choose as people….I’m not kidding when I say brief! Go back and read blog #1 and tell me if you can find it. Ha. But seriously! We are all creatures with free will which means this element of our being is also going to play out when planning a wedding. Of course we have Pinterest inspo, Instagram, and many other voices of creativity in our lives to help plan the special day. But boy oh boy! Can there be a lot to choose from in the world of Pinterest boards; and, maybe you just feel like there’s a lot of noise in your world right now.

Now, Pause and Remember that where you might find a lot of opinions surrounding your wedding you may also find much love for the future Mr. & Mrs. With that said, this might be a good time to take a deep breath (seriously, stop and breathe in for 5 seconds and breathe out for 5 seconds… Do that a couple of times because it works...I’m not kidding you) and remember that among all of the things you can choose for your wedding day, you’ve made the most important decision and you’ve chosen the person you want to spend your life with (can I get an amen)! Let’s celebrate that people and not lose sight of why the day actually exists.

Okay...Now, we can dive right into it!

Let’s talk about wedding details. Amidst all of the details of my own wedding, a wise person told me: “Just remember, if you guys are married at the end of the day, then it was a good day.” This is so true! And, we can also care about details too. First get into this mindset: What do you and your future spouse want for this special day? Write these things down in a list-type format and label them from first priority to last. Maybe your flowers are at the top of your list while food is at the bottom and that is OK. Get creative and have fun!

Some things to consider...

Do you want a wedding planner? Or, is your mom’s friend willing to help out to cut costs? Praise God if she is! Planning is a skill, folks, and if someone is willing and fully understands what it takes then I would say, sign em’ up! Although, I would highly recommend using someone who does have experience in the wedding industry; or, even someone who has experience in event planning in general. This is because even if you have a small guest count (i.e. 50 people or less) it’s very possible that you just might prefer to have someone in charge of making sure tables, chairs, decor, etc. is placed where you want it and the entire event flows smoothly from start to finish. Having an event planner really takes a load off so on the day of the wedding, you can just enjoy your party as new Hubby and Wifey without worrying about the succession of things.

How much involvement do you want to have with the planning? Know yourself! I have met brides who don’t care if their mom plans the entire event as long as they get to marry their sweetie! I have also met brides who genuinely thrive in the planning biz and they feel energized exercising their creative side. Whatever the case is for you and your spouse, own that, and go with it!

Okay, it’s worth being said here that a wedding can be used as a platform to display the two of you as a couple to your guests. Who are you? What do you care about? Why did you choose each other? Don’t overthink this because the answers to these questions will naturally be displayed in your plans as you plan together; but do take some time to ponder these questions...In fact, make a date out of it! You may just find that learning each other’s answers to these questions will create some emotional intimacy...And, that’s powerful!

Be you! Do not conform to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2) and do not do what you think you should be doing because others around you are doing them a certain way. If you want to have an elopement, go for it! Minimal planning involved? Great! Just under ten people including you and your future spouse? Ah-mazing! Or, maybe you want 500 people because you have a big family and a lot of friends. That’s beautiful! People, hear me when I say this: We are all different and uniquely made for a reason and most definitely not by accident! This means that while every wedding should have commonalities, they should also look different in some form or another. It should, in a lot of ways, represent the two of you as a couple.

Friends, whatever you choose, enjoy it, hold it with open hands, but enjoy! Laugh a lot, cry a lot, tell the people who are involved in your life and the wedding process how much you appreciate what they are doing for you. Look for the good in all things and celebrate that (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

And always remember, your friends here at River Garden are here for you and love you a lot...We’re not kidding! Stop by and say hi, call us, let’s go to lunch! We’re serious!

With a whole lotta love,

Devin T.

River Garden’s VA

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